At the start of a new intimate relationship, lovers usually experience heart racing and the adrenaline rush when they are with each other. We made our promise and forgo all flaws. We know how to compromise and said beautiful words. And so, why even the most beautiful relationship eventually comes to an end?
Perhaps its the satisfaction in a relationship that determines the stability and this is quite self explanatory. In whatever things we do, we want to feel satisfied! When we get satisfactory grades, we want get it again. When we get satisfactory weight loss, we want to continue the regime. When we get satisfactory relationship, we would want to stay in it!
According to Caryl Rusbult (1983), he suggested a model named the investment model of close relationships. It says that the satisfaction and stability of a close relationship is dependent on the level of commitment by both partners. And commitment is determined by the difference in the cost of leaving the current relationship and the perceived value of alternative relationships.
I feel that this is pretty much like folk psychology. Personally, when I am satisfied with the relationship and its deem as stable, i would be more committed to it. If so, I won't want to leave the current relationship and the other alternatives won't seem attractive. I agree with Rusbult for using investment to describe relationship. As the time gets longer, the investment gets higher and ending the relationship would incur more cost! During the downturn of the stock market in 1998, many people ended their own life; likewise, when an "expensive" relationship crushed, many people also chose to give up their own life!
Looking at the Sunday times on April 6th, the frontpage showed a classic ended love story. Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei has fallen out with each other after breaking off amicably. Their high profile love story ended ugly with money issues and a probable law suit. In the interview, others said that they are incompatible from the start and he is described more as the "goodyman" both in and after the relationship. I personally find this report rather biased. Either way, we won't know and there is no point to know whether this report is a true reflection of the real story.For sure, this report is going to hurt her heart and perhaps his reputation too.
And where did all the promises and beautiful words go? Why relationships will usually start beautifully and many would also end ugly? We have witness many couples who fell in love really romantically and also seen many of those couples end up hurting each other very deeply. I still cannot have an answer to it...
Perhaps love relationship is really an extremely risky investment. It cost from a few weeks of teardrops to even their life. If there are100 relationships in ones life, 99 of them will fail, because we can only marry 1 person in the end. And that makes 99% chance that the current investment might fail. Even the 1% could end up in divorce.
Will I take the chance then?
And, Yes, I will.
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5 comments:
love is patient. love is kind. it does not envy, it is does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. it does not delight in evil, it rejoices with the truth. love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
love never fails.
love is not an emotion; it is an action.
there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for another.
oh, and that love is agape.
Ever heard of NATO? No Action, Talk Only. I guess more than often, men have the innate tendency to make inflated talk to satisfy either the current situation, or simply just their ego. That works initially. But i suppose it would be a matter of time before his other half will crack.
But then again, this is a very slanted, biased, feminist point of view. =)
I think in most cases, there is a lack of communication and compromise. We are all selfish by nature, and as long as there's no compromise, its gonna be burnt one day. The relationship, that is. The only way to compromise, is to communicate. Communication, on the other hand, is dying. People would rather type their thoughts and feelings than to talk. Eventually, its a lose lose situation. hah.
-rathi
i think love relationship need to be managed just like a business, a lot things has to be considered. there are conflicts everwhere as the two goes along. How important this relationship is to those two is the key to breakup or continue this relationship. it depends on how people take the relationships and to manage it as well, communications is absolutely the first thing to do. by the way, i don't think God's Power will help anything into real life relationships, to be worse, these might be the leading path to an end.
I agree that love is like a business investment. So investment in as many prospects as possible.Who you love today could be different tomorrow so diversify.
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