Conflicts could happen in our everyday life and these conflicts can be damaging to almost any of our relationships. When conflicts moved onto a larger stage, the damage caused could be increased by multiples.
There are many ways inter group conflict can develop, and one of it is the social identity theory. This theory suggest that people want to have a positive identity for themselves and their group. To achieve this, one group might assume a higher position and look down on others. At times, negative stereotypes can be developed.
Lets start from smaller things. In school, students will find friends that they get along better with and form cliques. It is very common to have one or a few popular cliques and they are often included in cliques conflict. In my personal experience, I have a stereotype that girls in the popular cliques are pretty, bitchy, flirty and dumb. We know that there are exceptions and yet, gossips about them are available readily. Conflicts between other cliques and them are extremely hot. For instance, the popular group call other groups silly names and although there could be no fights, there is already resentment.
When it comes to inter school competition, all of the clique issues will suddenly seemed less important. When I was participating in the Singapore Youth Festival, the atmosphere between schools can be intense, especially when the participating schools on the same day were strong. Unlike the clique issues, we are clear that the other schools are better then us for the past years and the chance that we might surpass them is very minimal. Unconsciously, high morale was developed and everyone worked really hard for it. Later on, despite the strength differences, we told ourselves that we are a hardworking band and is extraordinary close to everyone. In the end, we still fail to surpass others but achieve what we aimed for.
The conflicts between countries can include many people and sometimes caused many fatalities. For instance, the conflict between Malaysia and Singapore has been carrying on for many years. Singapore assumes the higher position by comparing the gross domestic product per capital, the area development, illiterate rates, technology advancement and many more. Malaysia also feel that Singapore is dependent on many of the Malaysia's exports including water, vegetables, poultry and etc. Basing on each of their own comparing factors, that country is indeed better. However, we all know that each country has its own strength.
All the examples I've given above depicts how groups of different sizes develops conflict using social identity theory. These conflicts have not heighten and there are many other reasons for that. Small conflicts can also be good at times, it'll push us to improve into someone better.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Relationship starts, relationship ends.
At the start of a new intimate relationship, lovers usually experience heart racing and the adrenaline rush when they are with each other. We made our promise and forgo all flaws. We know how to compromise and said beautiful words. And so, why even the most beautiful relationship eventually comes to an end?
Perhaps its the satisfaction in a relationship that determines the stability and this is quite self explanatory. In whatever things we do, we want to feel satisfied! When we get satisfactory grades, we want get it again. When we get satisfactory weight loss, we want to continue the regime. When we get satisfactory relationship, we would want to stay in it!
According to Caryl Rusbult (1983), he suggested a model named the investment model of close relationships. It says that the satisfaction and stability of a close relationship is dependent on the level of commitment by both partners. And commitment is determined by the difference in the cost of leaving the current relationship and the perceived value of alternative relationships.
I feel that this is pretty much like folk psychology. Personally, when I am satisfied with the relationship and its deem as stable, i would be more committed to it. If so, I won't want to leave the current relationship and the other alternatives won't seem attractive. I agree with Rusbult for using investment to describe relationship. As the time gets longer, the investment gets higher and ending the relationship would incur more cost! During the downturn of the stock market in 1998, many people ended their own life; likewise, when an "expensive" relationship crushed, many people also chose to give up their own life!
Looking at the Sunday times on April 6th, the frontpage showed a classic ended love story. Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei has fallen out with each other after breaking off amicably. Their high profile love story ended ugly with money issues and a probable law suit. In the interview, others said that they are incompatible from the start and he is described more as the "goodyman" both in and after the relationship. I personally find this report rather biased. Either way, we won't know and there is no point to know whether this report is a true reflection of the real story.For sure, this report is going to hurt her heart and perhaps his reputation too.
And where did all the promises and beautiful words go? Why relationships will usually start beautifully and many would also end ugly? We have witness many couples who fell in love really romantically and also seen many of those couples end up hurting each other very deeply. I still cannot have an answer to it...
Perhaps love relationship is really an extremely risky investment. It cost from a few weeks of teardrops to even their life. If there are100 relationships in ones life, 99 of them will fail, because we can only marry 1 person in the end. And that makes 99% chance that the current investment might fail. Even the 1% could end up in divorce.
Will I take the chance then?
And, Yes, I will.
Perhaps its the satisfaction in a relationship that determines the stability and this is quite self explanatory. In whatever things we do, we want to feel satisfied! When we get satisfactory grades, we want get it again. When we get satisfactory weight loss, we want to continue the regime. When we get satisfactory relationship, we would want to stay in it!
According to Caryl Rusbult (1983), he suggested a model named the investment model of close relationships. It says that the satisfaction and stability of a close relationship is dependent on the level of commitment by both partners. And commitment is determined by the difference in the cost of leaving the current relationship and the perceived value of alternative relationships.
I feel that this is pretty much like folk psychology. Personally, when I am satisfied with the relationship and its deem as stable, i would be more committed to it. If so, I won't want to leave the current relationship and the other alternatives won't seem attractive. I agree with Rusbult for using investment to describe relationship. As the time gets longer, the investment gets higher and ending the relationship would incur more cost! During the downturn of the stock market in 1998, many people ended their own life; likewise, when an "expensive" relationship crushed, many people also chose to give up their own life!
Looking at the Sunday times on April 6th, the frontpage showed a classic ended love story. Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei has fallen out with each other after breaking off amicably. Their high profile love story ended ugly with money issues and a probable law suit. In the interview, others said that they are incompatible from the start and he is described more as the "goodyman" both in and after the relationship. I personally find this report rather biased. Either way, we won't know and there is no point to know whether this report is a true reflection of the real story.For sure, this report is going to hurt her heart and perhaps his reputation too.
And where did all the promises and beautiful words go? Why relationships will usually start beautifully and many would also end ugly? We have witness many couples who fell in love really romantically and also seen many of those couples end up hurting each other very deeply. I still cannot have an answer to it...
Perhaps love relationship is really an extremely risky investment. It cost from a few weeks of teardrops to even their life. If there are100 relationships in ones life, 99 of them will fail, because we can only marry 1 person in the end. And that makes 99% chance that the current investment might fail. Even the 1% could end up in divorce.
Will I take the chance then?
And, Yes, I will.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The importance of beauty
Lets just say we are walking in a brand new shopping mall, what makes us want to enter a shop? And have anyone wondered why some clothes look fantastic when we try it at the store and not in our bedrooms?! To some extent, the way the shop looks does influence our idea of how the clothes look! Firstly, we enter the shop because we think that it look good and then, thinking that its good, we buy the clothes in the store. Although we are warned not to judge book by its cover, its seems like we are doing just that.
What is beauty to you?
Perhaps some of us will say that beauty includes both internal beauty and exterior beauty. And is internal beauty and exterior beauty really separate entities? Perhaps.
According to study done by Dion, Berscheid and Walster (1972), humans often judge others based on the notion that what is beautiful is good. We tend to believe that attractive people also have traits and talents that are just as attractive as how they look. I'm not saying that internal beauty isn't important, but exterior beauty does come to influence our judgment of one's internal beauty. There are many many studies that comfirmed this notion (refer to txt book) and one of the most obvious signs across society is how appearance influence court decision. During a trial, many suspect will spend extra effort to groom themselves and put on a nice suit. And thats not redundant. Of course, the strength of evidence still has the largest influence over the verdict, however, when the evidence are unclear, beauty does interfer with the final decision.
So, does looking good equates to better treatment? I have a personal story to share. At some point in my life, I was tipping over the scale at over 70kg. At that time, I really felt that the world was very cruel. I had incidents when I wasn't allow to try clothes in stores and some even told me that their store don't have my size when i just step into it! My relatives pass mean remarks at me and my parents, some classmates joke and laugh at my weight and even the hawker gave me 'the look' when I ordered more food!!! Horribe indeed. After i lost more then 10kg, things turn for the better. Its more enjoyable to attend relative reunion, no sales person will turn me down and people even praise me when I eat more! With that 10kg less, I don't think I have changed as a person. However, its clear how society treat people of different looks. When I was more unattractive, my self esteem was really low and the remarks from others made me felt bad as a person. Should a person be condem for their looks? With just a slight improvement, the world suddenly seems kinder! Besides more shopping, I even felt better about myself! Well, i really wonder what will happen if i lose another 10 more kg!
And thus, if you ask me whether beauty is important? It will surely be a solid yes.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Volunteerism
On a random Saturday afternoon, if you head down to the Orchard MRT station, who will you most likely to meet? Yap, it’s the annoying FLAG day!!
Most of us would have been bombared by at least 10 of them in our lifetime, and some of us were even one of them. I was a regular flag day participant when I was in junior college, and it appeared that every Saturday..... is a flag day!
What is volunteerism? According to our textbook, volunteerism refers to helping behaviour shown voluntary to a worthwhile cause of organisation. And what could be some of the reasons why many people are willing give up their personal time for the welfare of others?
It is part of singapore education system that students have to fufill up to 80 hours of community work. And this was why I went begging on the streets every weekend! Perhaps not all, but some of us voluntered because we have no choice. Besides volunterring in flag days, we collected newspaper, helped in old folk home and also children society.
Others volunteered because they really want to help those in need, which is also known as altruism. Many studies has raised an eyebrow for the existence of pure altruism. Can anybody do something for someone and ask for totally no return? Say... even a thanks?
Theres also a group of people who do it for fame. Celebrities who visits the old folk home under the camera really makes me wonder if they are really "kind". Also, the charity shows done yearly by famous celebrities were rising in number until the NKF issue. In addition, the high profile disasters (e.g. Katerina, Tsunami) had many volunteers to get off their working seat and set off to help. Do they just truly want to help? Or, perhaps they just wanted to be a part of it?
Keeping the skepticism aside, some claim to participate in volunteer work because they want to understand more about the issue. I'm volunterring in one of the organisation on my own freewill and to understand more about the issues is one of my main reason to join this organisation. Also, I wanted to challenge myself and test my skills learned from the textbook. This reason is selfishly for my personal development.
One of the motivation factors that sound pretty ironic and yet true, is that volunterring makes one feel needed and this enhances their esteem. Helping can also make us feel "kinder" and feel good about ourselves. When we help the children in children homes for example, it does somehow make us felt blessed and also more useful. I think volunterring can be useful for old folk after retirement. This can allow them to spend their free time and also make them feel useful and needed again. Help others and help ourselves! Good deal!
There are many different motivating factors for different people and for whatever the factors are, as long as all party benefits, it can be a really good thing! There will always be people who requires help and it will be great if theres also a constant supply of people who are willing to help. Although I do not agree with the 80 hrs community involvement programme by the MOE, it does allow me to take time away from the awful school work and feel the value in studying and in myself. All in all, despite the various motives, volunteerism should be still encouraged!
Most of us would have been bombared by at least 10 of them in our lifetime, and some of us were even one of them. I was a regular flag day participant when I was in junior college, and it appeared that every Saturday..... is a flag day!
What is volunteerism? According to our textbook, volunteerism refers to helping behaviour shown voluntary to a worthwhile cause of organisation. And what could be some of the reasons why many people are willing give up their personal time for the welfare of others?
It is part of singapore education system that students have to fufill up to 80 hours of community work. And this was why I went begging on the streets every weekend! Perhaps not all, but some of us voluntered because we have no choice. Besides volunterring in flag days, we collected newspaper, helped in old folk home and also children society.
Others volunteered because they really want to help those in need, which is also known as altruism. Many studies has raised an eyebrow for the existence of pure altruism. Can anybody do something for someone and ask for totally no return? Say... even a thanks?
Theres also a group of people who do it for fame. Celebrities who visits the old folk home under the camera really makes me wonder if they are really "kind". Also, the charity shows done yearly by famous celebrities were rising in number until the NKF issue. In addition, the high profile disasters (e.g. Katerina, Tsunami) had many volunteers to get off their working seat and set off to help. Do they just truly want to help? Or, perhaps they just wanted to be a part of it?
Keeping the skepticism aside, some claim to participate in volunteer work because they want to understand more about the issue. I'm volunterring in one of the organisation on my own freewill and to understand more about the issues is one of my main reason to join this organisation. Also, I wanted to challenge myself and test my skills learned from the textbook. This reason is selfishly for my personal development.
One of the motivation factors that sound pretty ironic and yet true, is that volunterring makes one feel needed and this enhances their esteem. Helping can also make us feel "kinder" and feel good about ourselves. When we help the children in children homes for example, it does somehow make us felt blessed and also more useful. I think volunterring can be useful for old folk after retirement. This can allow them to spend their free time and also make them feel useful and needed again. Help others and help ourselves! Good deal!
There are many different motivating factors for different people and for whatever the factors are, as long as all party benefits, it can be a really good thing! There will always be people who requires help and it will be great if theres also a constant supply of people who are willing to help. Although I do not agree with the 80 hrs community involvement programme by the MOE, it does allow me to take time away from the awful school work and feel the value in studying and in myself. All in all, despite the various motives, volunteerism should be still encouraged!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Singapore arrests opposition members over price protest
Reuters - Sunday, March 16
SINGAPORE - Singapore police arrested a dozen opposition party members
staging a rare protest on Saturday in front of parliament house over rising
prices in the city-state.
About 20 protesters wearing red T-shirts that said "Tak Boleh Tahan" -- which means "Cannot Take It" in Bahasa Malay -- gathered outside parliament house, holding placards and shouting slogans. Singapore's annual inflation rate hit a 25-year high of 6.6 percent in January with food prices rising 5.8 percent in that month from a year earlier.
"We want to draw attention to these unbearable price hikes,"
said Chee Soon Juan, leader of the Singapore Democratic Party. "Our objective is to continue to encourage Singaporeans to speak up," he added.
Protests in Singapore are rare and an assembly of five or more people requires a permit from the police.
According to a Reuters witness, about 10 plain-clothes police surrounded the protesters and took Chee and 11 others into custody, following a tense 15-minute standoff that drew crowds of curious onlookers and tourists. Most of the protesters were dragged into waiting police vans.
"The protest was an "escalation in the level of defiance" by the group, the police said in a statement issued late Saturday.
"Chee has persisted to advocate civil disobedience and street politics as the means for political action in Singapore. In so doing, he disregards the law," said the statement.
A police spokesman told Reuters he could not confirm what charges the
protestors faced as investigations were ongoing.
The Singapore Democratic Party said on its Web site the protest,
which included children in strollers, was peaceful.
"The atmosphere was pleasant and joyful until the police showed up," the statement said.Singapore defends its strict laws on public assembly citing the need for publicorder and safety.
From this article, Mr Chee Soon Juan, together with 11 others, staged a street protest last saturday. They spoke about the increasing inflation rates in Singapore. They were later taken away by the police and their act was viewed as a form of defiance.
The Singapore government themselves spoke about the rapid inflation rate in Budget 2008 and many Singaporeans also expressed their concerns over the media and through the MPs. Therefore, the message given by Mr Chee and company were not groundless. In addition, the protest was described as peaceful. If so, why should the act be considered as defiance?
In Singapore, confirmity is very important and it seems to be part of the social norm. It is not that we do not have an opinion, but most would choose to abid by the rules. Although what Mr Chee said during the protest could be what is in our hearts, he still was arrested because he failed to abid by the law of Singapore. Singaporeans are famous for our absolute comfirmity to the strict laws, and why is that so?
According to Deutsch and Gerard (1955), there are 2 reasons why people conform. Informative influence happens when people are affected by others because they want to be correct and to get accurate information. And normative influence happens when people are affected by others to get rewards or to avoid punishment. Putting that into context, Singaporeans seemed to be under normative influence. We would try our very best not to break any law because of the fear of punishment. And perhaps because the punishment is more than just heavy, Singaporeans conform to the laws more than the others. Thus, it does not matter if what Mr Chee and company said was right or wrong, as long as he fails to conform to our laws, he will be considered as "defiant".
In addition, probably also due to normative influence, most Singaporeans will not speak up for those arrested. As I mentioned above, it is not that Singaporeans do not have opinions, its just to avoid conflict as far as possible.
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